My Hubby prayed for both our kid’s salvations. He prayed that they come to know Jesus as their Lord & Savoir. He prayed that He would live in their hearts. He prayed that they both love Him & follow Him all the days of their lives. I am sure that he prayed these things long before they were both born. I prayed these prayers along side of him.
My Hubby led our daughter to Christ. He told her of His ways. He led her to Him. He prayed with her. She was baptized on Father’s Day. He was with her every step of the way. He was so proud of her. I’m not sure who was happier, him, her or Jesus.
Just a few months later my Hubby was diagnosed with colon cancer. His faith was incredible. He believed he was going to be healed here on earth. He did not want us to believe any different. He wanted to be here for our kids & me. I also know that he wanted to lead our son to Christ. He wanted that honor & privilege. I wanted him to have that honor & privilege. I wanted him to be with us to be able to lead our family.
But then my Hubby went to heaven.
He left me asking “Why?”
God then led me to this….
“Things happen for a reason. God is at work in mysterious ways. HE will guide you & protect you as you go along your way. HIS love is always with you. HIS promises are true and when we give HIM all out cares you know HE will see us through. When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need.”
…And a peace came over me. My Lord and Savior was my comfort. I could do ALL things through HIM who gave me strength. HE was all I needed. HE carried me.
…It amazed even me what I could do…
Then the day came that my son started asking questions. Questions about Jesus. About Heaven. About his salvation. I know he would have been asking his Daddy these things if he were still here. But it was me who he turned to in his absence. I therefore I had the honor & privilege of leading him to Christ.
…But this is NOT how it was supposed to be…
Then my son started asking about getting baptized. For selfish reasons I put it off. I knew it would be a hard day. It was supposed to be a very special day that included his Daddy. He would have organized everything. Just like he did for our daughter. But instead it had to be me. And I did not want to. I wanted my Hubby to be here to do it.
Then Jesus convicted me of my selfishness.
I could not stand in the way of my son's first step of obedience. Cause that is what is all about. I needed to help him take that first step & not stand in his way.
HE then guided me. Led me. Comforted me. Carried me. Gave me strength. Just like HE promised.
I started making the necessary plans. I talked to family & friends. I sought help where we needed it.
In the process I was humbled by everyone & amazed by HIS love for my family & me.
Everyone I invited wanted to be here.
Everyone who I asked help from did what I asked.
Then the day came. My son was sooo excited. He truly understood what was going to happen & what it meant.
Then the moment came. His face said it all. He was grinning from ear to ear. He was glowing. Really glowing!
Joy…Happiness…Delight…Praise…Thankfulness…Pure bliss…were just some of the emotions that ran through me. At the same time, in all honesty, there was also Disappointment…Sadness…Grief. His Daddy should have been with us for this moment.
But I am sure that his Daddy was singing Hallelujah with all of his heart. His prayer has been answered. In God’s timing. In HIS way.
God is Good….
But at the end of the day….being utterly exhausted from all of the excitement of the day…. my son cried out in pure agony “I want my Daddy”. And my heart broke for him as he cried himself to sleep. And I couldn’t help myself & asked “Why couldn’t his Daddy be here with him/us on this very special day ???”
Then I read today…
“Sometimes I get mad because things are not working out the way I think they should. And in those times, I can easily switch from a heart of praise and thankfulness and trust to a heart of disappointment and dismay. How quickly my cry can shift from adoration to accusation. ‘Why, Lord why’? ‘How can you let this happen?’ ‘Where is there any victory in this ugly’?
Precious Jesus – as I walk through this Easter week, forgive me for my doubt. Forgive me for my lack of trust. Forgive me for joining the crowd and raising my fist in the air in accusation against the ugliness of life. I choose to trust you. No matter what. Thank you for your faithfulness. That you were willing to die. For me. That you have promised to work all things together for good. Even when things are not working out that way I think they should, you are the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. And your kingdom is forever. I pray you meet each of my sweet sisters right where they are. And that even in the middle of whatever life is throwing at them right now; they would still see You as King and choose to say ‘Hosanna.”
He is risen!!!”
God IS Good.
And HE does answer our prayers.
