Sole Parent

My kids have 1 parent.  Only me. I’m their sole parent.  Their Dad died of colon cancer over 2 years ago.  He is gone.  All responsibility for my 2 kids falls on my shoulders.  No one else’s. 

I really felt this recently as I had to acknowledge another loss.  My son did something that was wrong. Wrong on many levels.  I can’t even type what he did.  It shook me to my core. It opened my eyes to the vast responsibility that I have.  I have to teach my kids what is right and what is wrong.  What is acceptable and what is not.  What God’s word says. 

If my hubby were still here, he would have handled the whole situation.  From explaining to my son what he did was wrong to talking with the other people that were involved.  But he is not here.  So I had to step up to the plate.  And it hurts. 

I did not sign up for this.  We were supposed to live happily ever after together.  We were supposed to raise our kids together.  I was supposed to have him to lean on. We were a team.  Now my hubby is gone. 

There is only so much I can do. There are only so many hours in the day. But there is so much that has to be done.  I have to cook, clean, drive, shop, pay bills, garden, fix things, change light bulbs & the list goes on.  I also have to teach, encourage, comfort & this list goes on to.  I have to be both a Mom & a Dad. 

I’m on duty 24/7. I have to be with them unless they are at school or I make other plans for them. They are not old enough to be left alone. They need someone to watch over them. They can’t spend every other weekend with their Dad.  They can’t pick a phone to call their Dad. Their grandparents all live out of state. I don’t have someone to help me lead them, comfort them, discipline them, etc.  All this responsibility falls on me.  

I am their SOLE parent.  Just me, myself & I.

So I turn all this over to my Heavenly Husband.  For my Maker is my Husband.  The Good Lord Almighty. (Isaiah 54:5)  I am therefore NOT alone.  HE is my provider, my comforter, my encourager.  HE is also my kid’s father.  Our heavenly Father. 

So I pray to HIM for wisdom & strength that I need to get through everyday.  For I can not do this alone.  I can only do this with HIS help.  

And I am thankful for HIS grace & mercy.  I put my kids into HIS hands and trust that HE will help me.  I pray that HE is able to do what I can not do.  I can not do it all. Somethings I just cant do for either physical or emotional reasons.  It is simply tooo hard. I know somethings even slip through the cracks with me being completely unaware.  So I hand it over to HIM.  For HE is understanding & forgiving. HE knows my heart, my hurts & my abilities.

I am hopeful that others will not judge me. For I am doing the best I possibly can and I’m at peace about it. I am thankful for this peace that comes from HIM.  It is the sort of peace that transcends all understanding. (Philippians 4:7)

HE knows the plans HE has for me & my kids. Plans that will prosper us & not harm us, plans that give us a hope & a future.  (Jeremiah 29:11)

And I am thankful I am NOT alone.